This page includes various ramblings of a madman. Reading this is dangerous to your health.
The interruption to her soft breathing caused me to turn away from the window back to her. The view outside shared my mood. I had been feeling sorry for myself for quite some time and it was reaching a crescendo that made it difficult to think. I hurried over to her bed side and took her hand.
“Honey?” I asked softly in her ear. She pulled up the energy to gift me a small smile. She was laying on her back with her face turned towards me. Her breathing was even more labored than I remembered it being just minutes before going to the window. Suddenly a loan tear made its way from her eye, down her cheek and was lost in her pillow.
“I am sorry.” I could barely hear her.
“What? Sorry for what?” What was she saying?
“I am sorry.. so sorry for not being there….” The words were hard for her to say.
“Being there?” I stammered.
“For you.. being there for you and the kids.” Another tear joined the first.
“You… you were always there for us. Always.” My heart began to break.
“I mean later…” I started to lose it.
“My god… I…” I couldn’t speak. How could she at her darkest hour take responsiblity for something that was not her fault and hadn’t even happened yet. I gripped her hand harder, my tears were now joining her’s on her pillow. I kissed her cheek.
“I love you.” She said those words so softly, so sweetly.
“I love you too.” I whispered. She never heard my words.