I am a guy. I know, sad right? Why is this important? Men are simple creatures, simple to the point of being ridiculous. I remember seeing this list of how to impress a woman – it has like 50 things on it, such as give her flowers, write her a card, blah blah. The male version says “Show up naked with beer.” Not totally accurate, but pretty close. What they were saying there is that men are simple creatures. They want to spread their seed, often to a fault. They want to be full of yummy food. They want to be left alone. That is about it. Think Grizzly Bear and you have basically summed up a male.

This does not mean that I am stupid or not interested in other things – it simply means that men are simple creatures. They are easily amused. They like the physical world. It isn’t that men don’t do existential, in fact they excel at it, but it almost never directly applies to them. Men think existentially about other people. What if humans did have a soul? Crap like that. What men, well most men, can’t stand is fruitless drama. We hate it. I hate it. I am using the word hate here. WE HATE IT. Along with drama comes anything that leads to drama, we hate that too. Like Gossip. Gossip sucks. Typically it is bullshit. In an office environment when I hear gossip I either ignore it entirely or, if it is about me, I go straight to whom supposedly said X about me and ask them. I also sight the source of this knowledge. “Mary said you think that I don’t bathe. Is that true?” Nobody talks to me about gossip anymore.

WARNING: Chauvinistic stuff to come!

Why do women seem to enjoy gossip and drama? I don’t get it. I understand that not all women do, but it seems like a majority do to me. In the past I have discussed how drama, in this life, has a tendency to find you, meaning you don’t have to go look for her. She is a cold calculating bitch who loves to show up in your life when it can have the worst possible impact. So why look for her? The bitch will be back with a vengeance soon enough. If your life is so boring get a hobby. Do not create drama. Do not talk crap about other people. Gossip is bad, and typically is based on a concept that humans seem to excel at above all other things: embellishment.

Example: Janet almost walks out of the ladies restroom with a single sheet of toilet paper attached to her foot. She notices it, takes it off, washes her hands and giggles to Jessica. Jessica hates Janet. Jessica goes and tells Michelle that Janet stepped in poop, wiped it off with her finger, and didn’t even wash it off.

Why?

Humans are ugly creatures. We have an amazing ability to create, and a greater ability to destroy. Even my two year old son likes to figure out how things work so that he can break them faster. Women seem to love to tear each other down. It is this constant dance of the sick and twisted that destroys a family or team. Take any situation, embellish, and tell as many people as you can by prefacing said dramatic story with “You didn’t hear this from me but…” and you are on the right track for drama. This has taken such a foot hold in younger people on the internet that now they are killing each other off and committing suicide. Think about that.

What is to be gained exactly? What do you get by spreading drama, lies, deceit, and horror? Are you really so empty, so filled with self loathing that you need to destroy another to feel good about your self – even for a little while?

Do yourself and everyone else a favor, for just a day, and try to not create drama. Furthermore if someone around you is trying to create drama, call them on it. See what happens. Report what happens back here.