I am from California. I moved to the Midwest 5 years ago, and thus prior to that was not familiar with these tiny little red creatures called Chiggers. I found this article on them that I am sharing with you because at present I am coated in chiggers bites and have been scratching my flesh off for the last 48 hours. Apparently they are “harmless”, although I can’t imagine how a bite that feels like it came from a f’n shark can possible be harmless.

I want them erradicated from the universe.