Sarah. A most favorite target to continually amuse myself with – especially in honor of a snowy Friday afternoon. My dearest Sarah.

In a recent story, a reporter acquired thousands of internal emails from the State of Alaska showing email accounts shared by Sarah and her “first dude” Todd. Unfortunately, the reporter found the kind of behavior present within these messages that the very prim and proper, Mrs. Palin, has frowned upon when discussing the actions of other politicians. I’m not sure about you, but the superficial, piety-ridden, commoner-themed persona has to go! As they say were I’m from, “this one here is a bona fide’d Dee-vah Bee-atch, but she sho is prit-tah”.

One message held my attention: The governor coached her staff on how to disguise the amount of electrical work needed at the mansion to hook up her new tanning bed. Another illustrated Todd dishing up gossip to his, then Governor Wife, about an old family friend he grew up with which (could be traced) to this friend being unceremoniously kicked-off of the committee board seat that she previously held. And the funniest… Todd ignored the position of “First Gentlemen” and didn’t attend the overwhelming majority of civil functions usually accorded this position (regardless of “First Lady” or “First Gentleman” title). Instead, the only external function he decided to keep was a seat as a judge for Miss Alaska. Hilarious! Go Todd! Go Todd! Go! I raise my beer can hardhat to thee!

This brings me to a very decisive conclusion. When you wipe away the pretty red lipstick and the illustrative talk about patriotism and the like… what you are left with is the same ol’ politician crap as all the others… its just this one would do well in a blue-collar environment surrounded by pregnant unwed Teenagers, a behind-the-scenes “Spiritual Advisor”, and a male bimbo named, Todd, who when asked why he hunts bear cubs, responds curtly with, “…they were born, thats why!”

Oh, sidenote for my beloved Sarah… when someone says the phrase, “f’ing retarded” to something not related to anything even in the same universe as your offspring, it isn’t that smart to take public issue with that person. By the very existence of your issue are you declaring that your child is a “f’ing retard”? How cruel. Have you even looked that word up in the dictionary? No where did I see an utterance related to “f’ing down syndrome”… you just need to go back to more complex things like planning on how to sneak in a tanning bed into the State Capitol building.