Pat Sajak or Billy Mays?

Posted on 31 March 2009 by GlazednConfused

I was forced to watch the Wheel of Fortune a couple weeks ago for the first time in probably a decade (except for funny clips, of course). If you haven’t watched it in years, you are in for a shock. Wheel of Fortune was always one of the dumbest game shows on television, if not unapologetically so. But my Lord when did it turn into one long infomercial?

I am not exaggerating even the slightest. I got stuck watching a couple times, each one was during a theme. Both were the worst kind of commercial tripe. When I watched back in the day, they would mention the brand of car you won or maybe where you would be staying during your vacation. Looking back, that was sadly quaint. Not only do they do that, but they have actual logos on the wheel itself. You cringe when a contestant wins a vacation, because that prompts a full-length commercial for some desperate resort. Furthermore, the Sea World theme show was gawddawful – they took every damn opportunity to show a water mammal and the Sea World logo. This includes before and after commercial breaks. You heard me right – they had commercials on top of commercials. You may wonder how the producers even have time for the weak-ass puzzles, but the answer is nefarious: the puzzles are even shorter and easier than ever. It amazed me how fast they whizzed through them, even when morons insisted on buying a vowel although the solutions were obvious. Do they not know the meaning of the word “buy”?

You know the above clip where Sajak looks embarrassed trying to shove the Snoop Dogg wannabe into a car? That was his permanent expression during the Sea World and Hilton Waikoloa Village theme shows that lasted four weeks each for crissakes. I know he’s getting paid, but wow did he look uncomfortable petting whales or telling Vanna to “be quiet now” when she wouldn’t shut up about the nuts she was eating. I like to think Pat is better than this, but Vanna seems proud up there flaunting her unique style. She is over 50 years-old and has been in the limelight for over 27 years, yet even her Wikipedia page can not generate any meaningful accomplishments. She did “write” an autobiography, which even Miley Cyrus can accomplish after 15 years. Hell she doesn’t even have to flip letters now, just point in the general direction.

Wheel of Fortune has always been the Sara Palin to Jeopardy’s Lara Logan (Excuse me for taking every opportunity to mention that goddess). The gap now could not be wider, and bless Alex Trebek and Co. No embarrassing promos or themes, no “What is Outback Steakhouse’s Bloomin’ Onion?” answers, no winning morons, no compromises of which I am aware. They filmed at CES, which is cool with me. I still can only answer half the questions. Contrast that with Wheel of Fortune when I smack my forehead more often than not.

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