I wanted to thank you for driving your high end sports car on the freeway during morning rush hour at the extreme speed of 43 mph. When I merged into the lane behind you and was forced to slam on my breaks to avoid potential death I quickly realized that you sir, you had a plan. That plan was all about saving the rest of us from ourselves. You figured that if you drove well below the speed limit in a car capable of speeds much higher during the busiest time of the day that you would teach by example. I mean really, why do the rest of us need to drive near the speed limit at all, especially those who drive over it, when we could be driving well below it to conserve energy, lives and of course time?

I really enjoyed the moment that my sphincter closed tight to a point of discomfort when that giant 18 wheeled semi had to lock his air breaks in a squeal that would make a banshee jealous just behind my car in hope of not running me directly over. Oh sure there was a chance that the huge trailer he was pulling could swing around behind him and behead me – leaving my family, wife, children and all, with no father or provider  - but at least you got to go wherever you were going at record low speeds right pal? Thank you for the Irritable Bowel Syndrome that you no doubt left me with the moment I saw nothing but giant metal grill in my rear view mirror! I will cherish the inability to hold onto my waste forever – sure going to movies will be difficult – but at least you made your point to the rest of us!

I really loved the moment we took the same offramp together at a whopping 28 miles per hour ensuring that those behind us expecting to exit the 1/4 mile long offramp at normal speeds had miniature heart attacks when they too had to slam on their breaks. I would like to thank the engineers of the fine offramp for having the foresight of adding in a nice shoulder for people to escape to when someone like Mr. Mazda RX 8 decides that it is his self appointed mission in life to show the rest of us how a good, honest, caring person should drive on a Monday Morning during rush hour. Thank you sir, thank you.