I was playing video games the other day, and I started thinking about Tiger Woods. No, I wasn’t playing Tiger Woods golf. I bought that for the Wii and sold it a week later – it was too dry and clinical. I felt like I was performing brain surgery outside. No, I was playing Battlefield:Bad Company online, and after about seven years of playing BF in one iteration or another I can finally say this: I am great at it. Matter-of-fact, I have never been better at a video game. That’s right, I wasn’t even as good at Carmageddon. I miss that game every day I get in my real car. Anywhoo, I can even play competently if I distract myself by watching a movie or hunting down Pam’s latest wardrobe malfunction. I believe this to be a sure sign of true video game mastery, not unlike Bobby Fischer playing chess on a rollercoaster.

I thought about playing BF professionally – living and breathing it for the next five or so years. Not only is this a sure “my video game geek slip is showing” moment, but it really got me thinking if I could hack that career. More specifically, how would I motivate myself? See that scowl on Kobe’s face? He didn’t look like that during a Geography test in 4th grade. All the greatest sports figures are absolutely driven by something, and often it is totally exaggerated. Kobe has been trying to fill Jordan’s shoes since he was in high school. Jordan would use anything anyone said or did to gain an emotional edge. Also, God forbid your opponent got drafted a couple picks higher than you – he must pay for that disrespect at every opportunity. You could argue that motivation is more critical than skill or talent in a career. It is the difference between Anna Kournikova and Martina Navratilova, or Moses Malone and Erick Dampier.

What would I do? Perhaps point at the screen and yell “You, FrankNBeans777, I heard you threw my dog in front of that bus when I was kid! Where were you on July 17, 1977?!” when I know damn well I experienced no dog deaths on that date? Maybe I could assume all the female players (.001%) had screwed my best friend and drunk-driven my car into a ditch. Because on many days I would need more motivation than just a paycheck. Imagine if I had been playing BF since I was 12 years-old like some of these athletes. I would probably be so utterly bored I would hate to wake up in the morning.

Which got me thinking about Tiger and other sports figures considered the “greatest”. Talk about pressure; having a bullseye on you at all times and still come out on top. Bringing your “A” game every day is an incredible mental challenge. I can’t even make macaroni and cheese from a box with the same gusto twice a week. Maybe I’m not cut out for the cutthroat world of professional sports. Yes, I consider video game playing a sport as much as chess or darts. Either way, the next time your favorite pro player slacks off after signing a new contract or misses that 3-pointer at the buzzer, consider this: would I be able to do what I “love” (video games, scrapbooking, masturbating, whatever) under the same pressure with any kind of passion or consistency? After 10-20 years of being a slave to a “game”, what would it take to motivate you?