I remember watching a “bloopers” porno with a roommate, and it featured Ron Jeremy getting shaved from head to toe. Now if you’ve ever seen Ron, they do not call him “the hedgehog” for nothing. Watching him walk around clothed only in a layer of shaving cream reminded me of nightmares I had as a kid after watching Ghostbusters. However, I do not recall them actually demonstrating the shaving of the testicles. I tried it once, and only once, and with a couple different instruments. Let me tell you that those hairs do not appreciate being yanked. Also, the slightest nick made my crotch feel like this guy. I swore never to speak of that fateful Saturday afternoon. Until now.

Because it looks like Norelco has got my sack, and is not afraid to commit an entire website to polishing the family jewels. That’s right, they have the “only way to shave your balls”. This could possibly be the boldest campaign ever by a major American company. They make a lot of great selling points:

1. You’ll get more oral sex: women don’t like to “find a big bush” or “choke on your pubes”. Is that selling point stated clearly on the box? (bad pun)
2. Do you really need any more reasons to shave your balls?

Don’t forget the Balla powder, which makes “saggy sacks a thing of the past” (according to Amazon). That is a bold statement, Norelco. I’m pretty sure there is no earthly powder that can fight the incredible grip that gravity has upon my boys. I would definitely skip the “Tingle Formula”, which would just look desperate in my shower.