I must say something about hugs. I can’t really buy into becoming a “fan” of hugs. First of all, it is too all-inclusive. Who would admit to not liking hugs? It’s like being a fan of winning World War II. Second, and my main gripe, is that it is not specific enough. Now if you are asking me if I am a fan of “Hugs from Morganna the Kissing Bandit in her heydey”, I would join yesterday. But “hugs” in general? What if I have a one of those blasted random erections and I am wearing sweat pants? Yeah like that has happened recently. Regardless, in the spirit of specificity and Facebook’s recent brave defense of Holocaust-denial groups, I created the “Clubbing Baby Leopard Seals Before Breakfast” page on Facebook. If you prefer clubbing a different breed of seals, or at different times of the day, make your own damn page. This isn’t for everyone.

I am also not a fan of “Keep Facebook Free” and let me explain. A couple months ago Fortune explained how “Facebook is Taking Over Our Lives” – notice the snazzy chart on the right. Apparently Facebook reached 150 million users faster than any other “technology” (as opposed something like Twinkies, which probably reach that many people a year). I like how the article just grazes the characteristic that separates Facebook from these other technologies – it is free. The iPod numbers impress me more – not only did sales take only two years less than a free product, but (a) an iPod requires a computer like Facebook, and (b) the bastards were and are still considerably overpriced. Here’s the clincher of the article (and a generally understood fact): Facebook has yet to turn a profit.

Here we are, almost 15 years after the start of the “dot-com bubble”, and the business model that depends on attracting users with free content and services is still broken. What a shocker. Regardless, Facebook users are worried about the invasion of privacy and potentially having to pay for a service that they currently obsess over for hours a week. Heaven forbid an advertisement “intrudes” on your precious newsfeed. I recently befriended the father of a friend who I had not contacted in over 20 years – would I have paid a couple bucks for that service? Of course. Here are some other services for which I would pay money:

• Google docs
• Flickr (wow what a goldmine – Flickr members are nuts)
• Twitter (OK not me personally, but everyone else it seems)
• Rotten Tomatoes (before the apocalyptic redesign)
• Anything I find cool and useful

Newspapers could have been saved by rebelliously bucking this trend early and simply selling subscriptions for digital content at a reasonable rate. I would have gladly paid less than $10 a month for a web version of all the newspapers in California, for example. Real journalists providing real reporting was quite a novelty back in the early days of the Internet. Mark Cuban touched on this a bit (and more) on his blog, so check it out. He may be a blowhard, but the guy is ingenious and a straight-shooter.

The bottom-line is, truly useful and meaningful products and services can not be free. You are going to pay for them eventually through inconvenience, intrusive advertising, or panty-raiding data mining. Remember the paranoid scenes in Minority Report where the billboards on the street loudly react to Tom Cruise with “Hey Bob, we know you like wearing women’s underwear you dug out of the dumpster behind Hooters. How about picking up some new ones at Victoria’s Secret? They don’t smell like got hot wings and shame.” Keeping up these expectations of free products and services is pushing our society in that direction. My argument is that Facebook should offer a subscription service that allows you to exempt you and your “artistic” upskirt images from being exploited by marketers and littered with advertising. It could be sold as a “Gold Club” or something with an equally exclusive sounding name. Otherwise, all the disclaimer pages in the world can not save you and your “hug” pages.