Archive | September, 2009

Empire State Building to honor China in lights?

Posted on 30 September 2009 by Thraxxus

Article here. I find this sort of amusing only for this reason: The USA likes to tell people that we are trying to spread democracy, of course we aren’t one  as the USA is a Federal Republic, and we are celebrating the birth of the largest Communist nation on the planet. Go figure.

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Yes, Things are out of hand.

Posted on 30 September 2009 by Thraxxus

Apparently, if you watch your friend’s kid in Michigan, without a child care license, you are breaking the law. How a kid can visit your kid, but only if his/her parents are at their own house. Of course this means that your friend driving his kid to your house, and then turning around and driving home by definition means you are breaking the law. Watch the video, it is a riot.

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Butt Prints

Posted on 30 September 2009 by Thraxxus

I work in an office building and thus I am forced to share a public restroom with cohabitants of said office building. I have never been a big fan of public restrooms, and really beyond the occasional rapist or someone looking to hook up, who does? What has always irritated me about public restrooms is that they are a constant reminder of just how disgusting humans really are. I suppose I can deal with torn up paper towels all over the floor, often times I find myself compelled to clean them up, call it pride, I cannot, however, deal with the back of the toilet seat butt print.

Butt prints are the result of the person before you sitting down to do whatever it is they need to do and leaving a poop stain facilitated whale tail shaped print on the back end of the toilet seat. If you give it any thought whatsoever, and chances are you have not which why I am here for you daily, this is actually a result of said thespian not properly wiping off his airfield sized ass the last time he did a bombing run over Hanover.

Since said prior occupant did not find it necessary to clean up after himself, or perhaps he was just marking his terrirory for later or felt his butt print was something akin to cave drawings, you are now forced to clean it off or go somewhere else. What if the call of nature is so great that you can’t wait? Many restooms have those adorable toilet seat condoms that you can attempt to place precariously on the seat just prior to you dropping your own celestial booty upon it. This however does not scrub the thong shaped poop stain that you were forced to stare at from your memory, instead it haunts you, like comments from your mother-in-law.

I write this article to beg you, the reader, both of you, to please take this into account the next time you stand up from your cold white throne: take a moment to look back at your butt steps and clean off whatever you left there – most of you have already ruined the vision of what a real thong should look like displayed upon the glorious vision that is the female buttocks. Since that is ruined forever for me please work towards at least keeping things hygenic, afterall, aren’t we all trying to be a bit more clean these days, pandemics and all?

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Real Fake Commercial Taglines

Posted on 29 September 2009 by Thraxxus

Have you ever wondered what commericals would be like for negative things in a positive way, or if commercials were at least honest?

like.. diabetics..a candy commercial
“You know that every bite could kill you.. but it hurts so good..”
Here are some that we came up with. Thanks to ZA-Man and GlazedNConfused for some of these.
“Crabs…yeah like Red Lobster….mmmmm dip it in butter…but not really”
“We start off with a thick slice of pork belly…”
“Whioch is breaded in pure rendered whale blubber and oreos.”
“thick, juicy pork…belly”
“Oral herpes – no one will notice your acne.”
“Hemeroids.. after all we all like to scratch the itch..”
“Need a vacation? Have you, like hundreds of others, discovered the wonder of accidentally maiming yourself with a chainsaw?”
“Crystal meth – for when you MUST lose weight NOW.”
“Severe radiation exposure – it’s like x-rays for your soul.”
“You say ‘Death by autoerotic asphyxiation.” We say ‘Big, big publicity!'”
“Big Mac…We don’t mind the taste.”
“You say 70 year old. Trojan says Cougar. Give your mom’s best friend a shot, Tiger.
“You can’t say ‘registered sex offender’ without saying ‘sex often!'”
“Trojan – you’re hunting big game, now, mister.”
“Have you ever asked yourself, ‘Why do so many people become eunuchs, anyway?'”
“Homosexuality, its not just a choice any more.”
“Penile Implants. Don’t look ri-DICK-U-lus any more!”
“Empty refrigerators. Strangers with vans and candy. When you need a break from the kids, we know how to make it happen.”
“Genocide gets a lot of bad press these days, but you shouldn’t believe everything Hollywood says. You should experience it for yourself.”
“Predatory Lending, Inc. Because, sometimes, all you need is just enough rope.”
“It’s all the Snow Patrol and Plain White Ts action you can handle on the rockin’ Bands Whose Asses I Want to Kick Tour!”
“We give you a whole seat, but your fat ass will need three.”
“LiveJournal – because your poetry should be painful for the world.”
“Do people make fun of you because you’re skinny? Because you’re pale? Because you don’t ‘fit in?’ Try Vampire: the Masquerade. All that shit will still happen, but you can at
least fantasize about ripping out their jugular.”
“Carbon Monoxide: Detect it!”
“Turkish bathhouses – when was the last time you had a MiG on YOUR six?”
“Testicular cancer – when two balls just isn’t enough.”
“New Coke – Taste our secret mistake.”
“The Middle East, your gateway to hostile adventure!”
“Now with 17% less oppression!”
“Mississippi – you don’t have to run as much as you used to.”
“Arkansas. You know you’re sister’s hot. We know you’re sister’s hot. Who are you trying to kid?”
“Crazy chicks – they may slowly murder all your friends, but get them in the sack, and wow. Just, wow.”
“Her eyes may say boiled family pet, but her boobs scream motor boat.”
“Windows Vista. Squeal like a pig.”
“Axe Body Spray – if you’re too stupid to believe our commercials, you’re too stupid to sue us.”
“Axe Body Spray – there is only one thing powerful enough to draw all women in the world to converge on one point, and that’s the Hadron Supercollider. And once that machine has
killed all those geeky chicks, you can pick up the hot ones with Axe Body Spray.”
“Drugs, when you are too stupid to say no.”
“Have you always felt a little different than everyone else? Special? Like you had a destiny that would propel you above all others? And no matter how many times you’ve tried to
explain this, nobody seems to understand? We do. The Kanye West Institute of Keepin’ it Real.”

Like.. diabetics..a candy commercial: “You know that every bite could kill you.. but it hurts so good..”

Here are some that we came up with. Thanks to ZA-Man and GlazedNConfused for some of these.

“Crabs…yeah like Red Lobster….mmmmm dip it in butter…but not really”

“We start off with a thick slice of pork belly…which is breaded in pure rendered whale blubber and Oreos. Thick, juicy pork…belly”

“Oral herpes – no one will notice your acne.”

“Hemeroids.. after all we all like to scratch the itch..”

“Need a vacation? Have you, like hundreds of others, discovered the wonder of accidentally maiming yourself with a chainsaw?”

“Crystal meth – for when you MUST lose weight NOW.”

“Severe radiation exposure – it’s like x-rays for your soul.”

“You say ‘Death by autoerotic asphyxiation.” We say ‘Big, big publicity!'”

“Big Mac…We don’t mind the taste.”

“You say 70 year old. Trojan says Cougar. Give your mom’s best friend a shot, Tiger.

“You can’t say ‘registered sex offender’ without saying ‘sex often!'”

“Trojan – you’re hunting big game, now, mister.”

“Have you ever asked yourself, ‘Why do so many people become eunuchs, anyway?'”

“Homosexuality, its not just a choice any more.”

“Penile Implants. Don’t look ri-DICK-U-lus any more!”

“Empty refrigerators. Strangers with vans and candy. When you need a break from the kids, we know how to make it happen.”

“Genocide gets a lot of bad press these days, but you shouldn’t believe everything Hollywood says. You should experience it for yourself.”

“Predatory Lending, Inc. Because, sometimes, all you need is just enough rope.”

“It’s all the Snow Patrol and Plain White Ts action you can handle on the rockin’ Bands Whose Asses I Want to Kick Tour!”

“We give you a whole seat, but your fat ass will need three.”

“LiveJournal – because your poetry should be painful for the world.”

“Do people make fun of you because you’re skinny? Because you’re pale? Because you don’t ‘fit in?’ Try Vampire: the Masquerade. All that shit will still happen, but you can at least fantasize about ripping out their jugular.”

“Carbon Monoxide: Detect it!”

“Turkish bathhouses – when was the last time you had a MiG on YOUR six?”

“Testicular cancer – when two balls just isn’t enough.”

“New Coke – Taste our secret mistake.”

“The Middle East, your gateway to hostile adventure!”

“Now with 17% less oppression!”

“Mississippi – you don’t have to run as much as you used to.”

“Arkansas. You know you’re sister’s hot. We know you’re sister’s hot. Who are you trying to kid?”

“Crazy chicks – they may slowly murder all your friends, but get them in the sack, and wow. Just, wow.”

“Her eyes may say boiled family pet, but her boobs scream motor boat.”

“Windows Vista. Squeal like a pig.”

“Axe Body Spray – if you’re too stupid to believe our commercials, you’re too stupid to sue us.”

“Axe Body Spray – there is only one thing powerful enough to draw all women in the world to converge on one point, and that’s the Hadron Supercollider. And once that machine has killed all those geeky chicks, you can pick up the hot ones with Axe Body Spray.”

“Drugs, when you are too stupid to say no.”

“Have you always felt a little different than everyone else? Special? Like you had a destiny that would propel you above all others? And no matter how many times you’ve tried to explain this, nobody seems to understand? We do. The Kanye West Institute of Keepin’ it Real.”

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The 5th Element

Posted on 29 September 2009 by Thraxxus

A movie I never tire of. Oddly enough I hated it the first time I saw it, now if I am flipping channels and I come across it I find that I always watch it. Enjoy the clip.

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Glee – A Show Worth Watching.

Posted on 28 September 2009 by Thraxxus

If you have not already been sucked in by Glee, you should.

This is an example scene from the show – reminds me of what TV used to be, entertaining.

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Obama on Longer School Days

Posted on 28 September 2009 by Thraxxus

Referring to this article on MSNBC.com.

The paragraphs that got a chuckle out of me are as follow:

“Young people in other countries are going to school 25, 30 percent longer than our students here,” Duncan told the AP. “I want to just level the playing field.”

While it is true that kids in many other countries have more school days, it’s not true they all spend more time in school.

Kids in the U.S. spend more hours in school (1,146 instructional hours per year) than do kids in the Asian countries that persistently outscore the U.S. on math and science tests — Singapore (903), Taiwan (1,050), Japan (1,005) and Hong Kong (1,013). That is despite the fact that Taiwan, Japan and Hong Kong have longer school years (190 to 201 days) than does the United States (180 days).”

Well at least we are solving the real problem.

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A Pleasant Newsweek Article

Posted on 28 September 2009 by Thraxxus

Newsweek wrote this sweet article titled:

The Case for Killing Granny

I thought you might enjoy it. Just sharing!

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The Government will save us!

Posted on 27 September 2009 by Thraxxus

If the Internet ever has problems, never fear, the government is here! If anyone says that the government taking over the private sector of the Internet is Socialism, well, they are just plain wrong! Nothing to see here.

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Iraq and Iran = Pattern.

Posted on 26 September 2009 by Thraxxus

Back before the United States of America invaded Iraq, when Saddam Insane was still running the show, the US made loads of claims about Weapons of Mass Destruction that supposedly Saddam possessed. Catch being of course that none were ever found. Think that through for a minute. The US INVADED another country over weapons that never existed – furthermore The US did so when the United Nations said that there were no weapons of mass destruction. Again – NONE. Not one.

Fast forward to today, where Iran is apparently doing full disclosure, and again the US, the nation I am a citizen of, is once again pointing fingers about how Iran must be hiding something! U.N Inspectors are set to go into Iran shortly, and let us pretend for a moment that they release, yet again, a report that says that Iran is no where near having nukes -what then? Will the US ignore yet another UN statement and invade Iran anyway?

Aren’t we already at war with Afghanistan? Is this madness going to end some day? Is there some sort of purpose? SOMETHING? Man are we spinning out of control. What still kills me to this day is that the USA has WMDs – shit, we invented and perfected them and yet we keep telling other countries they can’t have them? How about nobody gets them? Naw, that makes too much sense.

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Are We Hypocrites?

Posted on 25 September 2009 by Thraxxus

I am referring to this article.

Don’t get me wrong here, I am all for Nuclear Bombs not existing at all. That said, why is it that the countries that already have them are always the countries telling others that they cannot? Let us put this in a simpler way – Your neighbor buys a shotgun for home defense, walks over to the edge of your yard with it in his hands, loaded, and proceeds to explain to you that you aren’t allowed to have one yourself. In fact, he is sending his brother over in a couple hours to search your house to make sure that you don’t. Wouldn’t that just sort of annoy you?

And we keep wondering why everyone else hates us. Maybe if we worked to get rid of nukes from EVERYWHERE at the same time we were telling other countries that they can’t have them then just maybe we wouldn’t be looked at like such Hypocrites.

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Complete Moronic Incivility This Way Comes

Posted on 24 September 2009 by Caravaggio

“Being civil”.

This can mean many things to many people.  During the homogeneous 1950s it was the era’s byline for “towing the line”.  Civility in many aspects is the glue that holds society together.  Recently I read an article about pirate culture.  They enjoyed a public relations victory by having their ilk described as chaotic anarchists (because such lore provoked their victims to just passively hand over the targeted booty without fighting) when actually they employed extremely civil rule sets for all their members to abide. Without the defined rules, their all-to-human selfishness would have caused a breakdown in their system which would have led to their own demise. Alas, modern day America is facing its own demise.  When I write this, I’m not focused on the highly visible incivility at present. Such as shouting during a Presidential address to Congress or taking the limelight away from an award-winning starlet during her acceptance speech.  No, I’m thinking about the seemingly more benign common man and woman of this once great land.

This morning whilst engaged in the ritualistic behavior called “trash day”, I set about busily collecting and sorting garbage from recyclables to then place the categorized corpus in individual sections upon the curb for pick-up.  At this very time, an assorted Rogue’s Gallery of parents had amassed on the street corner adjacent to my own to watch their grammar school-aged kids wait for the school bus.  When I type “watch”, I mean this empirically and literally. Out of the half dozen parents, no one showed evidence of the slightest electrochemically-induced synaptic-arch leading to a cognitive awareness of their children literally destroying my neighbor’s yard.  Kids were running to and fro while screaming (loudly, very loudly).  Throwing items pulled from the landscaping. And playing tag in-between my neighbor’s cars with backpacks full of the prerequisite contraband comprised of PSPs, Comic Books, neglected school books, and the culturally-desensitized presence of a probable Smith & Wesson .45 caliber handgun, all smacking the sides of the parked automobiles.

My existence at the circumference of this prepubescent melee triggered only a couple of sweet-gestured waves from some of the mommy-attendees. The fathers continued discussing their latest purchase of lawn mower or whatever it is “normal” fathers talk about. (Author’s note: long ago I resigned my club membership from this gender-based, liberated sperm-requisite sub-culture after running out of things to discuss within the first 5 minutes of social interface).  So after a 20 second run down of a risk-benefit analysis, I stood and cast the old “stinky eye” to the parental-aggregate locus.  My body language now being fully incorporated into the vibe of the evil eye ninja move obviously lent itself to full effect as some of the uncivil morons took notice.  And what was the end-result, you may ask?  After a brief interlude of uncomfortable silence between the “adults”, the fathers looked at their feet; the mothers spoke in hushed tones while the kids grew more violent and louder in their miniature, pseudo- G-rated version of Nicholas Poussin’s “Rape of the Sabine Women”.

On this very day … I weep for the future.

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Did you know?????

Posted on 23 September 2009 by Five0ClockCharlie

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We, the Bloggers, have the world on the run!!!

Posted on 23 September 2009 by scanjack

World domination is apparently within our reach my fellow bloggers!!! We have them right where we want them now!!!

an interesting point –

“Obama said that good journalism is “critical to the health of our democracy,” but expressed concern toward growing tends in reporting — especially on political blogs, from which a groundswell of support for his campaign emerged during the presidential election.”

Government Bailout of News Media – really?!?

and

The original.

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Mad Max Beyond Sidney?

Posted on 23 September 2009 by Thraxxus

This is a picture from Sidney Australia, note the prolific Opera House, that shows how Sidney is presently coated in a Red Dust Storm – something akin to the ones we see in the Max Max series, such as Thunderdome. Apparently Australia is having some serious issues, as msnbc.com illustrates in their article – they also supply a nice little slide show to go along with the agonizing situation. Here is a brief quote from that article that stood out for me: “Such thick dust is a rarity over Australia’s largest city, and came along with whiplashing winds and other uncommon weather conditions across the country in recent days. Hailstorms have pummeled parts of the country this week, while other parts have been hit with an early spring mini-heatwave, and wildfires.”

All of this leads me to ask the question – WTF is going on?

If you think I am making up the Mad Max part – take a look at the poster – the Red Dust storms are actually IN THE MOVIE POSTER. Creepy. All of this got me to thinking about Global Warming, the Zombie Apocalypse, bad politics, but most importantly a new Mad Max Film. Aren’t we overdue for a new one? Maybe Mel can hand the franchise over to someone else who is super cool. If you have ideas on who that could be – post em in our comments – just like our Robotech Live Action Post.

You just have to admire how I turned Australia’s weather woes into fun filled movie theorycraft!

Let us just agree that I rock.

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FDIC Needs Bailout? From Banks?

Posted on 22 September 2009 by Thraxxus

This week on shit we can’t make up, an article on msnbc.com. Who knows how true it is, but in all seriousness, wtf? Is the US government making less sense by the day? YOU BE THE JUDGE! (hint: Yes, yes they are.)

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Bloggers Beware!

Posted on 22 September 2009 by Thraxxus

I have made no secret of the fact that we have a SPAM blocker on our comments capabilities for our users. In the past I have posted some of the more creative posts that Spammers have made to try to beat our blocker… beat our blocker! That made me giggle like a school girl. Anyway – the following three are all for the same douche bag(Bill Bartmann) from different Spammers from disparate IP blocks – so Bloggers Beware! These overly creative fuckers may be coming for you soon!

You will note that the text seems almost real – in fact they go for the jugular by playing on your own writer’s ego.

From IP – 195.46.161.21

I don’t know If I said it already but …Great site…keep up the good work. :) I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks, :)

A definite great read..

-Bill-Bartmann”

And Again

From IP – 68.168.218.236

“Excellent site, keep up the good work. I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks, :)

A definite great read.. (This was a link I deleted)

-Bill-Bartmann”

Oh and Again! Assholes.

From IP: 95.78.205.240

“Excellent site, keep up the good work. I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,

A definite great read.. :)

-Bill-Bartmann”

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Bank Piracy – R.I.P.

Posted on 21 September 2009 by Thraxxus

I can only hope that something comes of this. Apparently Congress has finally figured out that banks, like USBANK, are total thieves – in effect they have turned overdraft charges into a 38.5 billion dollar a year business. Yes, 38.5 billion. With any luck their evil reign of terror will come to a close – i can only hope for a backlash of lawsuits to follow. Assholes.

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Check Awesomeness

Posted on 21 September 2009 by Thraxxus

securedownload

I may have to do this – Probably to USBANK.

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Two High Schools with Class

Posted on 20 September 2009 by Thraxxus

This story almost made me weep. I will let you read it for yourself as me paraphrasing it will not give it justice – suffice it to say I was inspired with hope by the actions of two High School Football teams including their coaching staffs and players. My hat is off to both of you. Good for your Matt Ziesel!

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Communities?

Posted on 18 September 2009 by scanjack

I’m not sure how many people ever read Sci-Fi referencing “Hakim Bey”, or however it was spelled. I found this series of interviews to be rather thought provoking, from Hakim Bey 🙂

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More sad news from across the rainbow

Posted on 17 September 2009 by Five0ClockCharlie

‘Reading Rainbow’ Reaches Its Final Chapter

Read Full Article

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Peter, Paul, and no Mary

Posted on 17 September 2009 by Thraxxus

Peter, Paul and Mary were this groovy trio from many years past that beyond winning five grammy’s created many songs that most people have heard in some fashion or another. For example, this scene from Armageddon would not have existed were it not for Peter, Paul and Mary. Mary died yesterday – the trio is now silent. Check out the link I supplied – you will be surprised by the songs that are theirs.

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Let the PsyWar Begin – errr… Continue!

Posted on 16 September 2009 by Thraxxus

Fun loving post found over at TheRegister website about SOCOM getting some form of contract or another to conduct psywars online. The gyst of it from my perspective is funding attacks on web using people! As they say it :

“The secretive US Special Operations Command (SOCOM) has awarded arms globocorp General Dynamics a $10m contract to set up a network of psychological-warfare “influence websites” supporting the Global War On Terror. France and Britain are specifically included as “targeted regions”.”

Huh? The fun part is that digital wars have been going on since pre Internet days, back when the Bulliten Board System still roamed the Earth – of course then in was more secretive. In the 80s the way to get a great job was to make a seriously awesome hack of some major iron, you’d be hunted down, arrested, and then given a wicked cool job hunting others down. Of course that lasted just so long coming to an end in the late 80s early 90s when Government and big industry just got tired of being hacked. Now of course those two entities now have armies of their own protecting their assets. But has anything really changed?

The only major change is in the past few years people, company and governments have stopped hiding the fact that full scale digital war is going on. Shit, the USA government loves to talk about Asian based nations hacking the living crap out of USA based web properties. So now it has gone to trying to directly involve the public and doing so with robust funding. Frankly, I am not surprised if the article I linked to is acurate.

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It would seem we’ve all become test subjects …

Posted on 15 September 2009 by scanjack

I have heard Rosalind Peterson interviewed several times over the past year, and find her to be very credible. Today she brings us news that without any public consent the U.S. Navy to conduct massive atmospheric experimental tests.

Article here.

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