Archive | May, 2009

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Bob Basso

Posted on 31 May 2009 by Thraxxus

I found this compelling.

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Bilderberg

Posted on 31 May 2009 by Thraxxus

If this article is totally fake then man did someone put a lot of work into faking it. Take the time to read it, really very interesting. Thanks to Mo! If you have never heard of the Bilderberg group then you really should read up on it. There are loads of totally disconnected sources that talk about its existance, reality, and purpose.

 

Mo Also sent this piece about Iran – apparently a friend of his wrote it for the Huffington Post.

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This is why college ball is better than the MLB

Posted on 30 May 2009 by Five0ClockCharlie

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When “Shorn Scrotum” is Too Subtle for A Corporate Website

Posted on 30 May 2009 by GlazednConfused

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I remember watching a “bloopers” porno with a roommate, and it featured Ron Jeremy getting shaved from head to toe. Now if you’ve ever seen Ron, they do not call him “the hedgehog” for nothing. Watching him walk around clothed only in a layer of shaving cream reminded me of nightmares I had as a kid after watching Ghostbusters. However, I do not recall them actually demonstrating the shaving of the testicles. I tried it once, and only once, and with a couple different instruments. Let me tell you that those hairs do not appreciate being yanked. Also, the slightest nick made my crotch feel like this guy. I swore never to speak of that fateful Saturday afternoon. Until now.

Because it looks like Norelco has got my sack, and is not afraid to commit an entire website to polishing the family jewels. That’s right, they have the “only way to shave your balls”. This could possibly be the boldest campaign ever by a major American company. They make a lot of great selling points:

  1. You’ll get more oral sex: women don’t like to “find a big bush” or “choke on your pubes”. Is that selling point stated clearly on the box? (bad pun)
  2. Do you really need any more reasons to shave your balls?

Don’t forget the Balla powder, which makes “saggy sacks a thing of the past” (according to Amazon). That is a bold statement, Norelco. I’m pretty sure there is no earthly powder that can fight the incredible grip that gravity has upon my boys. I would definitely skip the “Tingle Formula”, which would just look desperate in my shower.

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We’re the Government — and You’re Not

Posted on 30 May 2009 by admin

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CYBER CZAR or CYBER CRAZY

Posted on 29 May 2009 by Five0ClockCharlie

Really CYBER CZAR is all they could come up with as a super-de-duper cool name. Why not call this person YENDOR LORD OF THE WEB GEEKS,  GEEK GOD or WEB AVENGER OF DEATH.  I digress…. I could go on for hours with that. On a more serious note however, one would think that this would be a pretty cool job. Those of us who work in the IT / Web industry we more than not end up working for and dealing with non technical savvy upper management. I truly feel sorry for poor schmuck who gets this job. Not only does this person have to deal the the bureaucrats and the politicians but has to deal with ALL of the out of touch with reality non tech knowing MORONS.  My hat goes off to you.  PLEASE PLEASE do not call me for help. With that said I would like to present to you a few video clips that talk about the situation.

The first one is from our friends across the pond.

Here is another video on the subject however I was unable to embed it please enjoy

Obama Speaks about the Cyber Czar

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Cyber CZAR!!!

Posted on 29 May 2009 by Thraxxus

RAWR! Apparently Obama is set to create this new position: the Cyber Czar! Not to pick naming conventions too much apart here but THE CYBER CZAR?!!? Just wow. So anywhoo what is this dude allowed to do? Read About it here. That said – this is a picture of a dude that already works as a anti hacker analyst for the government. At first glance his setup looks sweet right? Of course if you look past the myriad of monitors on his socket desk you will note on the floor the several seemingly circa 1902 computers that he is forced to work with. My first suggestion for heightening our “Internet Security” Mr. Obama is to instead of dump a stupid amount of money into companies who have proven that they don’t actually know how to run a business put that cash into buying your Cyber Security Force some computers that don’t require rodent food to operate. 

Yes folks – we are this pathetic.

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Don’t Waterboard me Bro!

Posted on 27 May 2009 by scanjack

Jesse Ventura Body Slams Fixed Noise FTW!

Part 2

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No laughing matter – Don’t Smile!

Posted on 27 May 2009 by scanjack

“Stopping driver’s license fraud is no laughing matter: Four states are ordering people to wipe the grins off their faces in their license photos.”

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How I think of Politicians

Posted on 26 May 2009 by Thraxxus

This is a video of Macho Man Randy Savage. He is clearly insane.

That said they way he talks reminds me of many politicians – random rhetoric.

Consider this – if he spoke like this in any other situation he’d be carted off in a padded wall filled van.

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A Bit of Me

Posted on 25 May 2009 by Thraxxus

Granted, this is a Hollywood rendition of events that never actually took place. That said I really wish that in some way I was as gifted as Hollywood portrays Wolfgang Amedeus Mozart to be, as I believe that he was. I have always felt that this scene is Hollywood at its finest.

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Suburban Survivalists

Posted on 25 May 2009 by Thraxxus

Interesting read here.

Ironically I have been reading this book – World War Z – that takes a quite realistic view point on the Zombie Apocalypse. How do these two subjects have anything to do with one another? Common suburbanites having an interest in something other than just shopping and reality television. Granted one is set to a fantasy world where the dead rise up and devour the living and the other is taking place RIGHT NOW – but still, the similiarities are still there:

  1. Normal people are stocking up on supplies normally thought to be for hard core survivalists and nut bags.
  2. Normal people are losing practically all faith in their government to actually solve modern day problems – granted they are totally different in scope and reality, but still)
  3. Normal folks have next to zero faith in their neighbors keeping it together when the shit really hits the fan. Disagree? Why then do people in San Diego suddenly have the need for high powered rifles – and I am not talking about the ZA folks.

So really – how far fetched in the concept of a zombie apocalypse? I am not necessarily referring to the dead walking about at eating the living – but just maybe if things get bad enough we will encounter others who feel like the living dead and will stop on nothing to avoid the final destination. I can only hope that never happens – until things get better though I may start a new hobby, one that has to do with water purification systems.

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A Touchy Subject

Posted on 23 May 2009 by Thraxxus

Let me start this piece by saying that historically, in the United States of America, people of African decent have been time and time again handed the short end of the stick. First their was slavery, then we moved onto decades of racism, and finally when racism seems to be letting up, the inner city takes a dive for the worst leaving many African Americans completely disefranchised with reality. The thing is we have made advances with leaps and bounds regarding racism, and maybe not ending it, but at least curbing it – but we are no where near finished.

A big part of that comes from not only the racist folks actually learning a bit about those they are being racist against, but also those who are be persecuted opening their eyes as well – turning away from blaming others for their woes to having pride in their accomplishments and growing from them. This leads me to the entire point to this article – the touchy part.

If I were to establish an all Caucasion college I would be touted as a racist. Likewise if I were to establish an all Caucasian anything I’d be touted as a racist – and in fact I find anyone saying that they plan to do that as a racist – maybe its just me. That said, why are there “all black” colleges? Why are there all black anything? This is a question – not sarcasm. Is it because of the atrocities that African Americans had to endure? Is this how they are being “paid back”?

To me this is flawed logic. Isn’t the real problem that there is no balance to our society and thus African Americans feel the need to carve out their own sub culture? Isn’t this really just a different form of segregation? Realize that this isn’t a blame game, just a tragic realization. If you are being pushed out wouldn’t you try to establish something of your own? Doesn’t the establishment of that thing that is all yours also just lend to the segregation to begin with?

Why did I bring this up? Because a few minutes ago I was looking at the evil GameStop website and found this game while perusing the sports titles. So my question is as follows, and I ask this with the most non combative, non intentional racism edge as possible: Have we ostracized African Americans to such a degree that we now have to make separate football games focussed completely on their accomplishments? Realize that I am not opposed to this title, I am just curious about the mentality that was behind it, and I am curious about that because I KNOW that if someone made a game about all caucasion football they’d have a mile deep wedge of picketers at their office the following day.

My thoughts are a reflection of the Great Peace Maker, Doctor Martin Luther King Junior -I have a dream of a world where instead of forcing people to segregate themselves out of self preservation we encourage them to truly melt with everyone else. How have we forgotten his original dream?

That said – I am very curious about that game and now want to see it. I wonder what look I will get in the store from the clerk when I buy it – me being the visible poster child for white america – something I am not proud of.

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John Oliver at His Best

Posted on 21 May 2009 by GlazednConfused

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart M – Th 11p / 10c
Scamalot
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic Crisis Political Humor

As a big fan of John Oliver, I mostly posted this to my my own amusement.

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Anal Poisoning = Great Band Name

Posted on 21 May 2009 by GlazednConfused

A great article on Rush’s favorite obsession. What else is there to say?

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GlazedNConfused At Work

Posted on 21 May 2009 by Thraxxus

He hates his job.

The Worst Job Ever – Watch more Funny Videos

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I Blame Paranormal State

Posted on 20 May 2009 by GlazednConfused

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Ryan has practically a harem of girls right within the key demographic of this “game“.

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Israel – REALLY?!

Posted on 19 May 2009 by Thraxxus

Someone, please, for the love of all that is darn spiffy, tell me why is the USA so interested in protecting Israel? Recently Obama met with Diplomat dude from Israel where Obama asked him to play nice with the Palestinians – at the same time Obama upped the amount of money the USA is GIFTING to Israel every year for defense by ten fold: something like 255 million up to 2.5 billion. HUH?!?!

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Hey?! What Happened To The Swine Flu?

Posted on 19 May 2009 by guybehindtheguy

Look people… Weren’t hundreds of thousands of us supposed to be dead by now? Yeah-yeah, there are little news blurbs here and there, but let’s think about this. If… If the Swine Flu was so contagious and life threatening I would have expected to be boarded up in my house right now shooting mutants “Resident Evil” style.

Please someone tell me it is too early to hang up my hopes of a global appocalypse spawned by a ravaging disease…

Wait I think I just found an infected one… WTF is that??? Did Hilary go to Mexico, get pimped slapped by her man, or is that just a really, really awful picture?
Hilary – you’re still my girl!
alien hilary

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A Message for Monday

Posted on 18 May 2009 by Thraxxus

GTFO! 

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(I am the cat in this picture.. Monday is the mouse.)

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Cheerios – Baby boomer Drug?!?

Posted on 18 May 2009 by scanjack

“The ads say in six weeks, “Cheerios could help lower your cholesterol four percent”.  In making that claim, the F.D.A. says Cheerios becomes a drug, which can’t be marketed for its benefits without approval. “
Really F.D.A. ??? Maybe the organization could  be working on some more important issues? What’s next? “ABC Company Exercise equipment could make you more healthy. Ad awaiting approval from the F.D.A.”

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Who would you fire in today’s legislature?

Posted on 14 May 2009 by guybehindtheguy

I mean I am so freaking tired of excuses, excuses, excuses. “I wasn’t briefed”, “I didn’t know”, “…they lied to me.” Those wouldn’t save my rear end in my job, so why do they get a pass? I’m just sayin!

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Another Good Step Towards the ZA.

Posted on 14 May 2009 by Thraxxus

We keep joking about the coming Zombie Apocalypse (ZA) and how the swine flu could have gotten us a step closer – tragically we were wrong. That said some obviously bereft of intellect type individuals are now working on releasing some flies onto the North American Continent that turn Fire Ants in Zombies. NO SHIT! Always a good idea to add a creature that turns one species into Zombies onto a continent where we live. What is the next logical step:? Some geneticist idiot thinking that he can make those flies more useful. So if you see someone wandering randomly in a parking lot, head hung to the side, eyes devoid of any depth, FUCKING RUN.

I just sneezed while writing this, looked down on my desk, and there sitting just under my chin is a winged ant. The universe hates me.

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Torture? In A Nutshell

Posted on 13 May 2009 by GlazednConfused

“Water-boarding is torture… It’s drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you — I’ll put it to you this way; you give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.”
— Former Governor Jesse Ventura, an ex-Seal who endured waterboarding as part of his training

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A Bit on Myths

Posted on 13 May 2009 by Thraxxus

Around here we talk about loads of stupid crap all day. People embellish quite a bit – if it was really 50 chances are the story is told where its 60-75, whatever the IT is. I was thinking about this phenonena while having a talk with a staff member today who was telling me about some super Bear guy who was supposed to go live with the grizzlies – turns out he lasted a day as a few of them decided he would probably taste good and ate him. This made me recall this picture of an Airman and this ginormous bear he killed up in Alaska. 

The story went something like “This giant bear rand out of the brush at me. I drew down on him and unloaded my military issue weapon into him, he slid dead at my feet.” I am paraphrasing of course, but the story was sort of thrilling and supplied us with hours of water cooler discussion topic material regarding bears, who they eat, and how. So after the story I heard today I decided to look up the other giant man eating bear story and found this article. The piece talks about the viral story explosion as well as embellishment, including adding photos to the story as it travelled. How funny we humans are – we can’t take a story for face value and just retell it – we have to add a bit of ourselves to it in the matter of making it bigger, better, faster and stronger.

Makes you wonder what is real any more these days.

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