Ok on the right side of Blinkinblogs is a ad space. This morning I showed up to see what my compadres might have posted and noticed the ad showing was for Buck Rogers – not to be confused with Duck Dodgers of the 24th and a half century! Apparently you can watch all the episodes at NBC! Needless to say I took a quick gander at what they had to offer.
Get this shiz. Apparently Buck Rogers has 122 episodes – more than the original Star Trek! One episode has Gary Coleman in it – the little Kid from Different Strokes! And let us not forget the only reason to really watch the show – Erin Grey in the tightest pants ever made. Seriously, you would have to go some 500 years into the future to find a material that tight. You can read the fine print on a penny in her back pocket through those pants. They are so tight that there is nothing left to guessing when it comes to her personal care of her nether regions. Needless to say as a kid I loved it.
Check it out! You will not be disappointed. Beedee Beedee Beedee – Whats up Buck?!?
Don’t get me wrong, I am a dog lover. I was raised around dogs, because, well, my parents raised them. We had Great Danes when I was a kid – I considered them an over sized dog or an under sized horse. Either way they were neat. The general theories on dogs is that Pure Breds are expensive because they are “pure of blood”, aka they only have their original bloodline in them. Tragically this typically makes for serious inbreeding – resulting in weak stock. Mutts on the other hand were dogs as nature intended – two horny dogs get together and viola! Puppies! Hardy, loads of em, and Cheap!
Now America is on the leading edge of the Hybrid Dog thing. Basically it is the controlled method of making Mutts. I can’t make this shit up. Jack Russel got ripped a new one for “creating” the Jack Russel Terrier, which has recently been renamed the Parson Russel Terrier so that the AFKFCDOGHUMPERS, or whoever the hell they are, would recognize them as an actual breed. Think that through. This dude Jack Russel and his cohort Parson Whiner bred the crap out of some dogs to get a new hybrid dog, which they called a pure breed and now force Jack Russel owners to breed them only with other Parson Russel Terriers. Confusing to say the least. Did I fail to mention I have one? Manic, napoleanic, little man syndrome angry sonofabitch. Love that little guy.
Nope we Americans couldn’t stop there. We chastised the hell out of Jack Russel. Then someone realized that if you made “hybrids” you could give them snazzy names and charge loads of money. Some of these new Hybrids are costing upwards around $2k! So what sort of names? My favorite is this little diddy: Cocker Spaniel x English Cocker Spaniel = Colonial Cocker Spaniel. Could we get an sillier?
We currently have an interesting contrast happening on network television. I thought about this as I watched the last fifteen minutes or so of “Private Practice” last night. That “sexy” soap opera masquerading as a “medical drama” is a perfect example of what turns me off of these types of shows. Namely, there is not one unattractive person in the main cast. The main character, Kate Walsh, is one of the prettiest 40+ year-old actresses on television. She looks like she spends an hour a day on her makeup, and has never worked a 12-hour shift in her life. Take a look at the cast picture above, and tell me if you’ll ever see a doctor’s staff meeting with that much pulsing sexuality. Dammit, look at them throb!
If course this all goes back to “Grey’s Anatomy”, which I actually gave a chance back during the first season. All I heard was how it was not a typical “ER” doctor show, and how it was more about the doctors and their lives. I think I even heard a murmur of “realism”. No, it still has the .0001% freak-show patients, unrealistic dialogue and the manufactured drama that REAL doctors would avoid like a strep-throated leper. OK, I understand the monotony and bureaucracy than runs rampant in real medical professions would not make riveting television. However, does everyone have to be so pretty? McDreamy, McSteamy, Pompeo and Heigl – they should all be awoken at 4am then forced to stand up for 10 hours straight before filming. At least the guys don’t shave, so there’s that. Also, Sandra Oh looks like she wasn’t baked long enough, so she’s a plus. For all the “Scrubs” hate that circulates the web, at least the cast was realistic – when the cute but awkward Sarah Chalke is your ringer, you are more realistic than most.
I call this trend “Pretty People, Ugly Careers”, and it is rampant in other television dramas. It is a major reason I do not watch network television. “Bones” is a veritable meat-market – do you really think those forensics dweebs would look that good? No, they would be the freaks who were first ostracized in high school and had to turn to either video games or corpses for love (believe me, I know). Furthermore, check out all the popular “police procedural porn” shows and their primary casts – “CSI“, “CSI: Miami“, “NCIS“, “The Mentalist“, etc. If you can’t get lost in Simon Baker’s eyes, then you are soulless automaton. All these shows follow a clear pattern: handsome main character, surrounded by:a) hot women, b) scruffy older men, and/or c) cute or handsome young hunks. Also, where’s the beef? 60% of all Americans are supposedly obese, yet you wouldn’t know it from watching scripted television. Based on averages, every single skinny person must be in Hollywood. Something is rotten here, my friends.
So let’s get back to how these shows contrast with popular reality shows. I’m not sure how someone can go from watching “Private Practice” to “Hole in the Wall” or, even worse, the basic cable trash bins like “Rock of Love”. What do you watch in between to cleanse your palette – “The Daily Show”? The mind’s ability to shift gears from something so unreal to something realistic is amazing. I would really like to see some brainwave analysis performed on a tight focus group. However, I wouldn’t be a good test subject – all I watch regularly is professional sports and the ultra-realistic “Lost” – viva la Hurley!
My adoring fans, I have returned. Apparently during my absense there have been many quandries as to my whereabouts. Fan mail has been pouring in. GlazedNConfused told me that he has been beating back the throng of fans with a stick and some beef jerky. So where was I? Let’s face it you didn’t actually care at all. Probably didn’t even notice – no matter, I am still going to answer the unasked question.
LAS VEGAS BABY! I have to say Vegas used to be awesome, years ago. I was sent there by my company to do a show for the vertical we are in – software etc. The show was MEH at best and Vegas sucked a fat Palin. When I was a younger lad I used to hit Vegas on a regular basis and it was incredible. The food was cheap and the alcohol free. The women there are mind blowing (this latest trip we encountered amazing twins working at a burger place together – only in Vegas) but everything has its price, and I am both married and not into purchasing companionship.
My problems with Las Vegas are numorous and have brought me to a point where I have zero desire to go back:
Food is expensive
Alcohol is free, but waitresses never actually bring you any.
Shows are so expensive its stupid. Rumor has it the new Cirque De SoWhoGivesAShit is like 500/ticket!
I stayed at the Luxor, a place I detest, and my room sucked. Furthermore, the place needs a paintjob like Michael Jackson needs a facelift, again. More on the Luxor in a minute.
Alcohol anywhere that isn’t associated with you throwing money on a table is expensive in a way that requires a credit check. We had drinks at Tequila and Tacos in the Luxor, drinks START at 11 bucks. They had one shot that 250 bucks. I swear if I every pay 250 bucks for a drink she better be exotic, built, and go at me like she hasn’t had a drink in weeks.
WTF is with the Luxor Inclinators? Enigma was with me on this trip and the poor guy almost died like 7 times going up at this weird F’d up angle! BTW a pyramid for a hotel design? Not so good.
The really nice hotels, The Wynn and The Venetian, are breathtaking to behold, truly, and also cost you your first born and sex with the parking attendant to do anything at.
The Venetian now pumps some really amazing smelling stuff into the air. The result is you walking around in this euphoric state not giving a shit about how much money you spend. I think that should be illegal. I also want that in my office at work.
The good? We ate at The Cathouse. Amazing food. Incredible interior. “Servers” that look like they should all be super models. It was a trip. I suggest Amy as your server, she is from Winnipeg, smart, hot, and a great conversationalist. Apparently she also has a small box she keeps her male patrons’ souls in too. Weirdest part to this place is the woman in the window who gets dressed and undressed every ten minutes over and over again for an entire shift. I miss old Vegas.
Thraxxus’ post about how we at BB can brag about 20 visitors was an eye-opener. All this time I thought I had extolled the cheesy virtues of Streets of Fire to everyone I know – a whopping six people. I figured I had therefore covered everyone that read BB, but alas – I was wrong! Therefore, here is my top 11 reasons to check out Streets of Fire on Netflix right effing now. Move it up that long-ass list of critically acclaimed Kurasawa movies for which you are never in the mood. Prioritize it above those crap romantic comedies that you are saving for when/if you ever really need to get laid. Here’s why:
11. Rick Moranis as Seymore crossed with Scott Boras, in possibly the ugliest tweed suit this side of Darwood’s boss on Bewitched.
10. Amy Madigan: tough-talking, “I had a boyfriend, I swear! But you ain’t my type” quasi-lesbo
9. Goofy Bill Paxton, looking all of 17 years-old, getting his ass whupped by the aforementioned quasi-lesbo.
8. Forget how Michael Pare has become a total tool for Uwe Boll. Remember the better times, when he made Ahnuld and Sly look like Laurence Olivier in comparison. No, wait – forget that. Mike is really convincing as a burn-out soldier in Streets of Fire.
7. When Willem DaFoe, actually understated for once as the baddie, only makes #6 you know you have a cult classic on your hands.
6. Remember the olden times, when you could say “shit” in a PG movie? Welcome to now, where you can’t swear but you can show nude autopsies on network television. Believe me, the first thing I’d say if I discovered some poor corpse with half his head cleaved off and his organs strewn up on the nearest tree like a high-school prank gone horribly, horribly wrong? “Shit.”
5. Walter Hill – go-to guy when you want to make character-driven action movies back in the day. Witness the end of Streets of Fire – no closure whatsoever. Hill bows to no studio! The Warriors, 48 Hours, Hard Times, The Driver – director and writer. He drank your milkshake, Paul Thomas Anderson, you snobby punk.
4. Cost only $14.5 million to make, which wouldn’t even cover Shia LeBozo’s personal trailer on Transformers.
3. Ry Cooder scored the soundtrack. Merely one of the greatest musicians of all-time.
2. Did I mention Streets of Fire is some kind of rock opera? Sorry. The showcase songs where written by Jim Steinman, the cheesehead behind Meatloaf’s improbable early success with “Bat Out of Hell” and the sequel. We need less musicals, more rock-operas.
1. Diane Lane, rock-star. Sure, she can’t lip-synch very well. Also, she’s actually gotten hotter over the years, which goes against God’s will – and everything Maxim is teaching horny teens. Like most actresses, she’s actually increased her skill since this (although except for Unfaithful) her movies are subpar). Regardless, it’s Diane Lane…singing bombastic rock…awesome!
If I were Roman, and had some cool stuff on that consisted of sexy sandals and an even sexier leather skirt I call armor and an overly elaborate chest plate with a symbol on it that looked vaguely like a Whitesnake albumn cover I’d salute you old school style – in other words I’d smash my fist against my chest and utter something gutteral like “GRONK SMASH PRETTY FACE!”
WTF is Thraxxus going on about? You! You the reader! Last I checked, which was like 92.7 seconds ago – but really who is counting – we had 20+ consistant readers! Given that there are really only four writers for this site that actually show up and add anything, the other three clearly being trapped under something heavy, like their spouses, one can do the simple math and conclude that people other than us ACTUALLY VISIT THIS SITE!
I’d like to start off by thanking the little people – the Smurfs. If not for their wonderfully George Bush meets George Orwell outlook on life I know that GlazedNConfused wouldn’t be here today to entertain all of you with his snarky snarkiness from snarktown. The guy has the entire Smurf series not only on DVD but has also memorized said collection and has dressed up for and modelled in a Smurfs in real life photo shoot. In short, it was awesome.
Me? The only reason I am here is other less sophisticated cartoons like Voltron, Robotech, The Transformers (the Original where Megatron smoked fools just for them even thinking about possibly being smoked to begin with), and of course My Little Pony. God I love My Little Pony. I even dress up as one and run around my back yard prancing and… TMI?
Do you people see now why I keep saying that GlazedNConfused hates me. I cry myself to sleep every night because of it. That said – IRONY KNOCKS. Check it out. It is not that I am a doomsayer, or actually have a scarab beatle living in my anus (I did have one there at one time, through odd surgery involving a chimp, a router tool, and three marshmellows we managed to get it free), it is that I have realized for years that our “system” is, as gamers like to say, “BORKED” – which means broken.
The article I posted talks about how several states told the fed gov that things were awry in the housing market – it also goes on to talk about how their concerns were hushed (through uses of words such as STFU and “do you like your children?”) by the Bush adminstration. GASP.
PS – (in an article?) I am starting a fund called the “Why does GlazedNConfused Hate Thraxxus So Much? Fund”. Please contribute!
You know those scarab beetles, last seen as gawddawful CGI in The Mummy franchise? Well, Thraxxus has one firmly planted in his arse. This post is for him. In the August 18th issue of Fortune, the cover article is about bank analyst Meredith Whitney. OK, so I’m a little late with my magazines – they are practically stacked up. My feet have been killing me, and you can only read so much on the can. Not only is Whitney the “the woman who called Wall Street’s meltdown”, but very pretty to boot. Why do I bring this up? Because the article infers that her looks and personal life were reasons why she wasn’t taken seriously. She’s married to a pro wrestler who also moonlights as a stock pundit on Fox News. Keep in mind, this was before Sarah Palin rode hotness, moose hunting, and book-banning to stardom. Back in the day, being beautiful and smart yet disregarded was called The Lara Logan Principle. Another reason she was unpopular: Whitney has a reputation as a hardcore bear, which often pissed off the financial companies she covered. God forbid she does her job and downgrade a stock – what a bitch!
The article goes on to mention six other industry experts who saw the crap hitting the fan – apparently the greed gremlin didn’t have everyone by the throat.
Sean Egan bitched about subprime-backed bonds from day one.
Nouriel Roubini called shenanigans on exaggerated home prices, and knew they would sink the economy.
David Einhorn shorted Lehman stock earlier this year, which makes him smart AND a prick. I’ve read several sources on short-selling and I just don’t get it. It’s not that I don’t understand the process, I don’t understand how you can sell something you don’t technically own. Nevertheless, Einhorn also thought credit-rating agencies weren’t doing their job and monitoring leverage ratios at banks.
Robert Rodriguez of MFA actually started pulling out of mutual funds way back in 2004 when he thought mortgage lending standards were going down the shitter. Four years ago!
When Richard Baker was a congressman, he wrote legislation to keep Fannie and Freddie under control. After that bombed, he left to lead a hedge fund lobbying group. Apparently, the little devil on his shoulder won.
William Poole was also skeptical of Freddie and Fannie – this was way back in 2002.
The question was raised a while back by one of our three readers if we here at BlinkinBlogs.com are liberals. I will now answer that question.
There are several BlinkinBlogs writers. I know all of them as I recruited them to our cause – whatever the hell that is. I can assure you that no two of them are completely alike in thought or perspective. In fact that is why I recruited them. They do have one thing very important in common though – they are all very intelligent professionals.
I cannot speak completely on behalf of my fellow writers with regards to which way they lean but I can tell you this: I am not a Liberal, however I am also not a Conservative. I fall into this weird hybrid category of someone who is actually openminded enough to listen to what everyone has to say on any matter as I know one thing is true: I don’t know everything.
GlazedNConfused also comes across like a liberal sometimes. I don’t know if he is but I will tell you this about him – GnC is a skeptic if one ever existed. That does not mean the man is close minded at all – quite the contrary – but he does like his facts and he likes them to be somewhat believable – not sure what that is in his eyes but I swear its true. That said, he also is more than happy to point out BS when he sees it – like most of my articles.
Enigma is this really smart savant esque guy who is right on the edge of being anti-social to a point of Obie Wan Kenobi. In contrast I am as anti-social as Obie Wan Kenobi – actually I am more so and look like a sand person to boot. Enigma enjoys banter, pointing out stupid, and owning MANY GUNS. I can’t say he is liberal or conservative but I do know he believes in the right to bare arms.
Five0ClockCharlie comes from a very military backed family and thus has had serious interaction with that world. It has empowered him to see many things that most civilian types, like GnC, Me and Enigma, never get to see. Consequently he doesn’t pipe in nearly as often as I’d like and has a difficult time spouting off as some things he knows about he probably should never say publicly. All that aside he is a dork/nerd/computer geek and thus is pretty fond of freedom. In effect, he is the most politically confused person I know as he likes liberal stuff but is inundated by his family with conservative perspectives. I do not envy him.
MoMajic has more education that all of the rest of us combined. He is directly involved in governmental affairs and writes for many publications of various degrees. He is a world traveller and has a very interesting background. That said I have no clue what the guy is. I can say that he loves logic, proper design, and well thought out anything – but then again who doesn’t?
In closing we are not pinko liberal commies – or whatever McCain is calling them now. That said we are also not conservatives. Basically nobody here is a feather on either wing. All we are is a bunch of educated professionals who like to point out stuff that smells quite a bit like shit and say “Hey.. have you smelled this?”